Inner Conflict

peace love AND...

Ever since the General Election was announced, I’ve been in a state of inner conflict, having a battle with myself, questioning what I should do.

My quandary is not based around who to vote for, that could not be clearer in my mind, my conflict is around how vocal I should be about it.

I’m so passionate about it, I’m a natural campaigner, a fighter for justice, so it would have seemed obvious I’d be screaming from the rooftops, persuading everyone I could that they need to be conscious in their voting.

A strange thing happened though. I realised it was “triggering” me. I was having both physical and emotional reactions when I engaged too much with what was going on. I realised it was reminding me of a previous trauma. It took quite a lot of soul-searching, and I realised what it was, it’s like being in an abusive relationship.

The lies, the gaslighting, the smear campaigns, the crazy-making, lack of empathy and compassion for others, downright bullying, and use of power and control to achieve selfish gains.

I realised what had happened. The bullies had quietened many of us, too scared to speak out, for fear of being bashed again. Others are in a state of confusion, cognitive dissonance, not knowing which way is up, due to all the mixed messages and lack of clarity.

All the smoke and mirrors, re-cycled propaganda messages, designed to brainwash a whole society, it will have disastrous consequences, as people don’t question what they are told, they just find themselves reeling off the same soundbites they’ve read in newspapers run by those with a vested interest in who gets in.

I’m triggered because my whole being knows what it is – coercive control.

Here are the facts – we have a cruel and dishonest Government. Their interests are looking after each other, and most likely, playing into the hands of the ones really pulling the strings, like Trump trying to get his hands on our NHS, and rich tax-dodging billionaires who own the newspapers using their power of influence to get what they want.

Meanwhile, those that haven’t take the time to educate themselves, reel off the same crooked and dishonest headlines, thinking because they’ve read it in the Mail, it must be true. It’s like pub gossip.

Jeremy Corbyn – racist. What????? He’s a pacifist, he campaigned against Apartheid, there’s not a racist bone in his body. Anti-Semitic? Do you know the history of Israel and Palestine, and what’s going on there. Since when was being against Israel murdering children racist? It’s spin. Why can’t people see it?

I’m so frustrated at how many people, people I’d considered to have good values, still saying “Yeah, but I can’t stand Corbyn”, as a reason to vote a certain way.

What people don’t like is change. Someone they can’t put into a box. Someone who is stronger, more compassionate, and has fought for more good than perhaps any other politician in our lifetime. As an unknown backbencher back in 1990, he took on Margaret Thatcher over homelessness. He has balls of steel, he won’t succumb to spin, nor lies, nor slander of the opposition.

Yet the media have presented him as the absolute opposite.

For me, it’s simple. Do we stay in a toxic relationship with the narcissist? Or do we put down all our pre-judgements, and vote for someone not popular, but real. For me, the “charmers”, they’re the ones to watch out for, they’ll be the ones who convince first you, then others, that they’re the answer to your prayers, then not long after, that you can’t trust your own judgement and what you need is them to take control.

Give me a leader I would trust with my children, to take care of my cat, to look out for those in need, as well as the good of the country.

Strong values equals a strong leader, and a leader with values will make good decisions.

So I guess I decided not to let the bullies win in the end. I’m back and I’m fighting for what I believe in. “Triggered?”, maybe. Or maybe just “a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bull****”.




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