accept yuourself

When did we all become so obsessed with “self”?

It seems to divide opinion, as ever. Being too interested in “self” can be used as a criticism, but on the other hand, it’s also regarded as the key to happiness.

I’m definately part of the second group, but I’d become a little bored recently with all this “self-care”, “self-talk”, “self-help”, and went exploring instead “self-compassion”, which beats the rest of them hands-down.

So here’s how I came to this conclusion:

Self-care – I’ve had more candle-lit bubble baths, face masks and early nights with a mug of golden milk than I will ever need. Still love it, but not every night.

Self-talk – no matter how many times I told myself it was destined, I have to face the fact that Jose Mourinho isn’t going to marry me. It doesn’t always work.

Self-help – I reckon I’ve read every personal development book ever published, and I’m still bonkers.

Self-compassion, however, I’m liking this. In my opinion, we spend far too much time beating ourselves up for being perfect. Exercising self-compassion on the other hand, seems to stop this negative voice in my head and conversations such as this happen instead:

“Yes, my house looks like it’s been burgled after a particularly busy week”.

“And that’s ok”.

“Yes, I showed up to work this morning with my leggings on back to front”.

“And that’s ok”.

“Yes, I did forget to bring my water bottle with me and had to buy a plastic one”.

“And that’s ok”.

“Yes, I did use particularly bad language when someone asked about my ex”.

“And that’s ok”.

“Yes, I did drink one or two too many after my book launch last week, stayed out far too late, and woke with a crushing hangover”.

“And that’s ok”. (Because I loved every minute!)

It’s all OK. I did what I did, I’m only human after all. If I forgive others all these things, so why not myself?

Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would to others.

And whichever way you look at it, I think this world needs as much kindness as it can get.



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