It’s been a crazy month, in that it feels as if my feet haven’t touched the ground.
I’ve spent around eight days at home in the past four weeks, and I have to say it’s a huge relief to be back on terra firma, and cosying up with my cat again.
It can seem oh-so-glamorous when I’m working abroad, and running yoga holidays in stunning holiday locations, but there’s really “no place like home”. Especially when it comes to feeling grounded.
I’ve always been a bit flighty, I’ve travelled a lot, I’ve moved house more times than I can remember, and I’ve never really felt like I had firm roots.
So it has been pretty exciting to finally feel as if I’m “coming home”, albeit to my modest little flat in Exmouth with Lucky Boots the cat.
Its got me thinking about what it means to feel “at home”. In classes, I often refer to our first home as being our physical body, in that as long as we feel comfortable in ourselves and can go within, we can feel at home anywhere.
It seems to be more than that. Yoga has enabled me to really feel and appreciate my body, yet I know that my surroundings have a massive effect on my state of wellbeing.
In the wrong place, with the wrong people, doing things that don’t nourish me, I feel unwell, disconnected and a sense of insecurity, not feeling safe.
Yet when I surround myself with those people, places and circumstances that feed my soul, it’s like I come alive.
In the past few years, I feel I’ve kept myself small, I’ve denied my true self, because I’ve been trying to fit in where I didn’t belong. Things just felt “off”, and I often felt like a round peg in a square hole.
I thought it was me.
I had even thought that perhaps I was better off on my own, doing my own thing, and having minimal social connection, except in my work. Isolating myself seemed to be more attractive than being in toxic environments.
Then I realised what the problem was – it was the environment I was in which would dictate whether I flourished or floundered.
In recent months, during a time of deep healing and transformation, I feel more sensitive than ever to where I am thriving.
Having just spent four nights on a boat with six empowered, amazing women, I realise I can be around others and be my wild and weird self without judgement. In fact, when I do that, it seems it opens the door for others to do the same.
I don’t need to dim my light in order for others to feel more comfortable. I’m not “too much” when I’m around people who support my growth and respect my unique spirit.
For when we are comfortable in ourselves, we feel no need to shoot others down.
We thrive in the right environment.
What struck me most over this past week spending time in a nourishing and nurturing environment was the lack of competition and comparison in this particular group of divine females.
It sat so well with my own values of not competing with anyone else.
Life can be hard enough as it is, I have no desire to compete. I hope we all make it.