Today I find myself on a wild, deserted beach on the North Devon coast, overlooking Lundy Island, as usual contemplating life.
A total contrast to my usual sandy beaches around Exmouth, this isolated cove is much more rugged, robust, unruly even.
There’s only the two of us on the beach even though it’s a great expanse. There’s a new energy, strength and calm in equal measure – perfect balance.
My slightly-unhinged travelling companion is preparing to tackle Blackchurch Rock, practise for some filming they are doing in a few days time.
While Spider-Man makes his way solo up the 400m cliff face, I’m thinking I just want to get on the rocks, get in the sea, and get fully engaged body and mind in the landscape. It’s like doing exercise and a puzzle at the same time.
I’m lost in the moment, so lost in it, I’ve lost my flip flops. It doesn’t matter, I’m enjoying the sensation of barefoot on the stone. It’s like I’m getting energy from the Earth through my feet.
I feel strong today. It’s the end of a pretty unusual month, but I can safely say that’s it’s been my best month to date this year, in terms of how happy and grounded I’ve been. I look back on August with some great memories, in amongst recovering from surgery, there were some magical moments, including today.
It’s been scrambling over rocks, finding my feet, not too far from home that I’ve found my inner strength. I’m free from all the shackles that were holding me back, I’m wild and free, but calm and centred. I have a sense of home, and I’m at peace with myself.
I’m strong like a rock, grounded more than ever before, and no matter what waves are crashing in around me, I’m letting them all wash over me.
Inspired by my new hero, Faith, in the series “Keeping Faith” I’ve decided I can get through anything.
Everything happened to try and break her, but she refused to go down. She fought for her kids, her rights, her freedom.
The theme tune is still rattling around my head, the words that helped me keep my head straight when I started to feel sorry for myself:
“Although I am broken, I am still breathing”.
Now on the last day of the month, in the perfect place, in the perfect moment, I’m not just breathing, I’m strong as a rock.